I have almost no doubt in my mind that you have heard of The Bachelor. I’m sure someone you know watches it, you’ve walked in the room while your wife is drinking a glass of red and judging Corrine’s clothing choice, or you have ended up scrolling through Twitter on a Monday night, combing through the thousands of people live-tweeting the episode.
In case you are unaware of this show on ABC, I will explain the premise and why we can’t help but have our eyes glued to the television each week.
There is one man, the bachelor (duh), who meets a whole bunch of ladies who all step out of a limo, one-by-one. He briefly speaks with each of them, and some how decides which girls he just could never, in a million years be with, while they go drunkenly cry in their brand new evening gowns after knowing him for 6 hours. And when I say “knowing him”, I mean telling him her name, talking about how pretty she looks, and smiling way too much for any normal human being.
This is where the season really starts.
We go on group dates, one-on-one dates, and the dreaded two-on-one date.
The group dates involve most of the girls, and they are all just fighting for attention. Can you imagine spending most of your time with other women, who you are becoming friends with, and fighting them for this man’s attention? Of course not, and if you answered affirmatively to that question, I want to meet you and find out more about your strange life. At the end of the date, he picks ONE WOMAN to give a rose to. Usually it’s the one who was incredibly forward or told a sad life story.
The one-on-one dates are the best. You can completely tell if things are super awkward or not. Sometimes they talk about weird shit, barely speak, or they talk superficially. You never hear them talk about religion, kids, politics, middle names, or anything that really matters.
The two-on-one dates are dreaded for the contestants, and crack for the viewers. One girl comes back…. the other goes home. DUN DUN DUN.
Toward the end of the season, the bachelor goes to “the fantasy suite” with each woman (separately, not all at the same time). So, he basically has sex with three women… within three days.
Then, about 2 weeks later, he proposes to one woman. They get engaged barely knowing each other, but America gets so excited for them and even become obsessed with them as a couple. One or both of them can even end up on Dancing With the Stars or Wife Swap.
My boyfriend likes to bring up something he has read about The Bachelor, which is incredibly true: “Women who hate men who date multiple women at once…. like to watch a man dating multiple women at once.” Every Monday, I feel like a moron for turning on ABC to watch something that I literally ONLY complain about. I know some women legitimately enjoy watching this show, but I just find it so obnoxious that it is intriguing. I complain so much that I live tweet, and even had a tweet posted on Fox News… of all news outlets.
I find people and the choices they make incredibly fascinating, and I always want to know what led these women to this strange place to look for a husband they barely know.
I know this post wasn’t incredibly interesting, but instead a look into the fucked up way I watch an annoying tv show.
BUT. Why do you watch or not watch?